things that made me happy.

this week brought the potential of five tests, reviews, work, and minor dramatic moments. i'm mostly just happy i got out of it alive.

passport application: submitted! the line was long and the conversation was, well, post office line conversation. but it's done!

celebrating bryn's birthday din din. then watching her get her ears pierced. twenty years old and her piercing viriginity is finally stripped!

having a really rough night and having my grandma call me and make everything seem okay. my grandma is better than your grandma. i love her lots.

passing my calc test with one try left. and getting exactly the 80% necessary. goodbye 9 am class! proud to say i only skipped once. (don't worry those lower scores don't count on my grade, it's pass/fail and all you need is one 80) :)

noticing i have homework for my study abroad prep class. tell me that isn't exciting? tell me i'm not lucky to be excited about homework? yeah. thought so.

seeing a best friend find her wedding dress. i may or may not have teared up. #iloveweddings

talking to my brother sam and asking, "is there anything else you need to tell me?" and him responding, "just that i love you."

splurging and getting a new skirt at h&m. no, it was not necessary but yes, i am very happy about it.

finding the silver lining in this week.. i have many blessings to be counting :)

scenes from the last couple days.

and reasons i've been mia.

so raise your glass.

life as i know love it. 

things i'm dreading:
my accounting final
my accounting grade post final
writing two essays for my polisci final (i'm SO over papers! especially polisci papers)
packing up my room
saying good bye to my floor/ward
my last sunday with the best freshmen ward i could ask for
ending this year
saying goodbye to my first missionary friend, seokhee (i've never done this before!)

things i'm looking forward to:
getting finals over with
seeing my grandma, who is coming to help me pack up
seeing my family
..seeing my family in FLORIDA
being tan 
being back in st.george
earning MONEY!
summer
lake powell
weddings

i'm trying to see the glass and half full, but i have to admit i get choked up just thinking about the goodbyes that are coming in a matter of days. 
i'll keep you posted. 


ps just a little word to my lovers- byu is awesome. 
i'm totally converted/brainwashed/whatever you want to call it. i used to be a hater, but i don't think much can beat the year i've had.
anyone who wants a wholesome college experience that consists of:
one of the cheapest private universities, the best people you'll ever meet,
a spirit that is so unique in itself,
a school you can totally pride yourself in saying you attend,
and education that isn't all about your final grade (though you have to work dang hard for a good one)
..byu is the place for you.
i know i won't have the college experience 95% of my friends from home are having, but i don't want that.
i needed this more than i could of ever have known. to sum up my thoughts on byu post freshmen year - refreshing and rewarding.
gosh i'm a freakin' commercial, i should get paid. oh well, i'm a proud cougar :)

official annoucement.

i will be spending my saturday here!

while we're on our way there/back we will stop here!

YAY for fabulous las vegas birthday weekend!

we being me and eight others, and my dad, sister abby, and brother isaac will also be in vegas so i'll get to see them! can't wait to tell you more

bryce canyon.

after my grandpa's death this summer it took us a couple weeks to go to church on sunday, instead we grieved together after the tragic loss. 

i'll never forget the sunday we went to bryce canyon, one of my grandpa's favorite places. 

sunday drives were my grandpa's signature experience. so we took one to his favorite place. 

it was my mom, sister maggie and brother sam, my grandpa, and my uncle bruce- grandpa's youngest brother, his wife holly and youngest daughter mackenzie. 

the whole day i was obsessed with bryce's beauty. i'm not sure if i've ever been there before, but it was really special to be there considering. 

one of the reasons i love st. george is because of the red rocks.. bryce is red rocks to the max. 

right now i'm missing summer. and those moments that made last summer special, despite it all. 

here are some pictures that i'm drooling over once again. 

three more months ♥

♥
summer.

the year of 'perfect ten' in review- day three.

the most important ten of 2010 #3

i moved away.


june 2010 proved to be the most life changing month of my life. the first of these reasons is that the ticket that took me to las vegas on june 14th was a one way. i packed my "heavy" bag (yes, i got the heavy tag on my luggage), and shoved all that i could into my carry-on and flew out of sioux falls to the dirty city of las vegas, where a shuttle then took me to st. george, ut. did i mention that i had to have my friends take my to the airport? i didn't have any family to take me, or pick me up. but we'll get to that later. 
my summer of independence wasn't all that it was supposed to be- warm sun, tanning, hanging at the pool, spending time with bryn, going out to eat for dinner chats with grandma and grandpa, working at the family store, and just trying something new. my family was there a majority of the summer, for reasons we'll get to later, and my grandma and i were all that was left that the end. 
really, its quite depressing to think about all that my summer could of been and then all that occurred instead. but, i guess it was one of those character building experiences. personally, i would much rather have the fun, but we don't get to pick do we?
i earned a lot of money over the summer, but i learned the value of it when i had to spend it all on college necessities and when i had to get up and work a real work day to earn it. it was just a summer of change, for sure. i loved living in st. george, and may even be back there this summer. we'll see what happens. it's sad to think i may never live at home again, but the more i get out and try new things, the more i want more challenges- internships, classes, any opportunity i have to grow and build my resume i want to take. maybe i'll find one of those experiences in sd one day. 
this summer was one i'll never forget, but i truly believe my choice to move to st. george was not all my own, and it was inspired. as heartbreaking as this summer was, i am SO grateful i was able to experience all i did in st.george. 

♥

let it out.

since the day my grandpa ross died, there hasn't been a day the same. there hasn't been a day i haven't thought of a part of my day he would have enjoyed, something i would have told him, missed him, and remembered him. 
i'm really good at putting on a smile when i'm hurting the most so that i don't have to actually talk about it. luckily, i am able to tell this girl what i need to. she was pretty fond of him as well :) 


sometimes i forget how lucky i was to even know him. i was reading this and cried for my cousins and soon to be cousins that won't get the moments with him that i did. 
but, at the same time, i wasn't the only one who came to appreciate all that he was. there was many others who saw what i saw. 


coming to terms with how permanent death is SUCKS. but that doesn't mean i can't still admire him. 


this weekend i get to travel down to st. george with raleigh and erin and get to see my grandma. i'm soo excited! i've missed her so much. she's amazing and crazy strong. i'll also get to see my great grandma terry who soon will get to be with grandpa ross and great- grandpa terry. ♥

staybeautiful.

cute and hair- the two are not related.

so.. i'm cheap. i went to the hair school for highlights to be retouched. i got a little more retouchin' then i expected. 

so.. i'm kinda blonde-ish now. 

comments on this change?
grandma responded with "well they say blondes have more fun.."


but this is the cutest grandma quote ever--


"and i go boppin' in there.. (pause) well i don't bop.. but i went up there and.." -grandma julie


love her!

she's adorable, and my heart aches because i know her heart's aching a million times more. 


staybeautiful,ashleyann. 

things i hope i'll never forget.

my blog is kinda like a journal to me.. but i've been thinking about two things lately that i'd like to have on record and i hope this is a semi appropriate place to do so. 

a lot is said about the phrase- "live like you're dying."

which its great.. but do we? 

after my grandpa ross's passing my friend brynley said.. "your grandpa REALLY lived like he was dying.. every day his whole life"

so true. SO true. he did.. and that's another reason why he is such a great example. 

i think of all he experienced in his short years and know that every day he lived to the fullest, with no regrets. 

and how great of a life style that is to live. 

after grandpa died.. we all were gathered in his hospital room by his bed. we waited and waited.. and after it happened i remember grandma julie was hugging one of her sons.. i believe jason. 
i remember her saying, "he couldn't do it."
and jason (?) saying, "he couldn't hold on anymore mom he had to go." or something along those lines. 
and grandma said, "no.. not ross, heavenly father."
i hope to never forget this.. because until that moment for hours i had thought my grandma had lost faith that heavenly father could help my grandpa rebound through this.. and i was almost mad at her because i just couldn't think of anything else that would keep my grandpa with us and all i had was my faith to trust in.. and in that moment i remembered how strong and faithful my grandma is and that even when she had her doubts.. she always had 100% faith we could see a miracle. 


yesterday marked one month since grandpa's death.. how crazy it seems to know we've been without that great man for that long. 
last night i enjoyed reading some of my grandpa's letters he had sent home while on his mission.. i was so glad i got to share some special moments with my grandma. 
she's such a brilliantly beautiful and strong lady. 


on a lighter note- tomorrow bryn and i will pick up my friends at the las vegas airport- and i couldn't be more excited. 


stay beautiful, ashley ann.