Conflict does not always have to be a negative thing that we all dread. This is something I was reminded of when Adrian Klemme, BYU's Student Leadership Coordinator, came to talk to us last week in lecture. We instantly think negative situations and ideas when we hear conflict, but for me this just comes from bad memories that have arose from conflict. Those are the situations I think of, not the situations in which conflict was handled the right way and all parties affected by the conflict came out better because of it. That is the kind of conflict we need to focus on.
I really think I need to work on translating my optimistic attitude into a way to confront conflict. I am a pretty direct person, but I am definitely scared of confrontation. I often feel like it isn't worth it to approach the conflict, but that isn't always the right way to think about it. Many opportunies arise to show leadership skills in time of conflict. Often times with roommates (the people that conflict is most likely to arise with in this stage of my life) I have noticed that I make conflict where conflict shouldn't be. I mix school, stress, work, and personal issues with my apartment matters/mood. I have been working on approaching each issue individually with a positive attitude and it has been helping. I don't make conflict for myself and relationships are growing stronger because of it. If I have a long night ahead of me, I don't try and finish it while talking to friends. If I prioritize and get what is most important done first, then I can feel more productive and feel better moving onto my next task. It works much better than trying to tackle all the problems at once.
It may seem weird that I'm mixing time management, attitude, and conflict; but for my life right now it makes sense. I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with those pointless fights with my mom or fighting over the car with my brother. However, I've noticed that I'm living with six girls with six different schedules and six different to-do lists for the day. It may seem minor, but the day that one wants the kitchen to be clean, the other barely has time to eat lunch, let alone load the dishwasher. Sure, if the problem keeps arising I will have to address it, but right now the conflict is internal because of the stress of my schedule. While analyzing conflict I've also noticed the difference in trying to look at everyone as Christ would. When I put myself in their shoes and try and learn more about their day and their struggles, I have more empathy and it makes it so much harder for there to be conflict at all!
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